Two Hours at a Time: A Bad Life Lived Well

A Bad life I lived it well

Two hours each I spent 

for my grandma, daughter and mom,

And for my friend who was all alone

As I faced tragedies and humiliations 

one after the other ranging from 

a failed ministry, a difficult divorce, 

false accusations, employment issues, 

to an emotional breakdown.

My life did seem as bad as it could get, 

But fight I did to live it well 

with love for one and all

The library met my queries and 

the Bible helped me make sense of it all.

Two hours I spent

With my grandma in my childhood,

Everyday, cooking,

Greetings neighbours,

Treating lepers well,

Playing card games,

And, hearing stories, poems, legends and epics.

Mahabharat was there,

There was Ramayana too,

But the theme that lingered

Was of betrayal and love so true.

Two hours I spent,

Perhaps, more,

Every day with my daughter,

As long as she was with me.

We made dosas, played touch, cricket,

Hide and seek,

Occasionally futball.

We created bedtime stories

Of wealthy Andappai and the poor Gundappai,

With twists and turns only she could decide.

A Bad life I lived it well

Two hours each I spent 

for my grandma, daughter and mom,

And for my friend who was all alone

As I faced tragedies and humiliations 

one after the other ranging from 

a failed ministry, a difficult divorce, 

false accusations, employment issues, 

to an emotional breakdown.

My life did seem as bad as it could get, 

But fight I did to live it well 

with love for one and all

The library met my queries and 

the Bible helped me make sense of it all.

Two hours I spent,

Perhaps, more,

With my mummy in her old age.

Weak heart, weak mind,

She suffered a lot,

Alone in her bed.

She ate dosas, ice cream and potato chips,

But I was the only one

Whose cooking she enjoyed.

Hospitals, Ambulances, Airbeds, Bedsores, Diapers,

Hygiene, Prayer and Goodnews dominated our conversations.

Even sms and whatsapp were about:

"How's mummy's health condition?"

A Bad life I lived it well

Two hours each I spent 

for my grandma, daughter and mom,

And for my friend who was all alone

As I faced tragedies and humiliations 

one after the other ranging from 

a failed ministry, a difficult divorce, 

false accusations, employment issues, 

to an emotional breakdown.

My life did seem as bad as it could get, 

But fight I did to live it well 

with love for one and all

The library met my queries and 

the Bible helped me make sense of it all.

Two hours I spend

With beggars and stray animals 

of my neighborhood,

And, in Bangalore,

To see if my time could ease their pain,

To give them a new opening 

or a start they did not imagine.

Collecting clothes, giving money, 

buying food, expensive medicines

Occupied me until I found 

the right answer. Obsessively!

Two hours I spend

In the libraries, at home and seminaries,

Seeking truth of God and humanity,

Corroborating with what I saw in life real—

Unhappy.

Sorrow and suffering everywhere.

The need of the hour is Mercy.

Is Kindness so expensive?

Is justice unattainable?

Has love any value?

Who are we and what are made for afterall?

The library didn't answer all my queries,

But did offer a way:

Wisdom reliable of centuries,

Made available in pages smelling so incredibly good.

A Bad life I lived it well

Two hours each I spent 

for my grandma, daughter and mom,

And for my friend who was all alone

As I faced tragedies and humiliations 

one after the other ranging from 

a failed ministry, a difficult divorce, 

false accusations, employment issues, 

to an emotional breakdown.

My life did seem as bad as it could get, 

But fight I did to live it well 

with love for one and all

The library met my queries and 

the Bible helped me make sense of it all.

Two hours I spent

With my friends, a handful,

Always there in my joy and sufferings.

Not many wanted to join 

this journey of danger and determination,

But those who did left a mark 

on my soul and my spirit—

A mark that will not go away even if tried to wipe it away.

In one word, the mark was Love,

In two: do mercy.

Two hours I spent

Watching television: News, Sports, and Movies.

Movies inspired me—

Mohanlal, Mamooty, Tilakan, 

Jagadi, Innocent, and Sreenivasan

Made me cry, laugh, and smile.

So did Bachhan, SRK, AKs, and SK.

Tendulkar, we cried for 

and had restless nights lest he fail to score;

MSD, Kohli, Sharma came 

next to make the bad life bright.

A Bad life I lived it well

Two hours each I spent 

for my grandma, daughter and mom,

And for my friend who was all alone

As I faced tragedies and humiliations 

one after the other ranging from 

a failed ministry, a difficult divorce, 

false accusations, employment issues, 

to an emotional breakdown.

My life did seem as bad as it could get, 

But fight I did to live it well 

with love for one and all

The library met my queries and 

the Bible helped me make sense of it all.

Two hours I spent everyday

With the only text book I will read.

Twenty-three years since the day He called me

As I was smoking cigarettes in a bathroom:

"Son don't do this, it is not good for you."

The voice still lingers every time I'm down.

Read Ephesians today—Chapter 5 

still thrills and intrigues me.

What's so special about Christ and his bride

That we could learn as husband and wife?

How can I love her like Jesus did?

It is so ridiculously tough!

For her, it's easy still: 

Submit! And, forget it,

Let your hubby decide the course 

you both will take."

I just submitted my assignment 

on Paul's vision of Ephesians.

Small working models of new creation 

don't seem working well anymore.

It is all about his Bride 

prepared to receive Yahweh's son

Who first came to woo 

her by love and love alone.

I know it seems more than two hours now

Since I started writing about 

Paul, Jesus, Bible, and Creation new.

There's still more news from Abraham on,

But if I get you bored you 

won't visit the loving Rascal anymore.

By the way, that's why a friend 

called me Manoj, Man of Jesus—

For the moment I opened my mouth,

I spoke of Jesus and his Anastasis, 

the long story of his love for all.

A Bad life I lived it well

Two hours each I spent 

for my grandma, daughter and mom,

And for my friend who was all alone

As I faced tragedies and humiliations 

one after the other ranging from 

a failed ministry, a difficult divorce, 

false accusations, employment issues, 

to an emotional breakdown.

My life did seem as bad as it could get, 

But fight I did to live it well 

with love for one and all

The library met my queries and 

the Bible helped me make sense of it all.